Brighteyes, Come Home Novelization
by iheartkatamari
Summary: A reimagining/retelling of an episode of the TV show by the same name, Brighteyes hopes to find a home, and eventually does...but is her new owner really what he seems?
1. A Home of Her Own

**This is the second in my series of reimaginings/retellings of episodes of the TV show. Some notable changes made are that the three Pound Puppies from the 1985 special (Violet, Barkerville and Scrounger) who didn't make the cut for the series are now part of the cast, although, in this particular fan fiction two of the Pound Purries (from the book "Kitten Companions") temporarily take Barkerville and Scrounger's places. Flack and Tubbs, the two dognappers also from the 1985 special are also here, and they're now Katrina Stoneheart's henchmen. (Sort of like Horace and Jasper to Cruella De Vil.) Some elements of the story have been altered as well (But I won't give them away). Please enjoy! **

Brighteyes runs through the streets of New York city with a pair of nasty, red-eyed alley cats pursuing her. She darts down an alleyway which ends up leading to a dead end; she backs up against the wall, behind a manhole as the alley cats close in on her, snickering nastily. "Oh no," the yellow lab shudders. "I'm _doomed!_"

The cats pounce at her; suddenly, the manhole cover pops up, slamming them both in the face. The perpetrator of this deed is revealed to be Cooler, the leader of the Pound Puppies. "Excuse me," he says jokingly. "Is this the meeting of, 'Alley Cats Anonymous?'" He looks over at the unconscious cats. "Hmm, looks like I was a little late attending. Rats, I always miss out on all the fun." he punctuates his sentence with a chuckle.

"Cooler, how wonderful to see you!" Brighteyes exclaims joyfully.

Before Cooler can respond, the alley cats come to, and start after them again. "Well, we'd love to stay for the festivities, but we gotta run. Let's do lunch sometime, 'kay?" Cooler says, as he and Brighteyes disappear down the manhole just as the cats pounce at them.

In the sewer line, beneath the streets, Brighteyes gives Cooler a hug. "Thanks, Cooler, you saved me."

"Aw, shucks, ma'am. T'weren't nothin'. There's just one thing I'd like to know, though…WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? WE'VE BEEN LOOKING EVERYWHERE FOR YOU!"

"I'm sorry, Cooler," the yellow lab replies dolefully. "I've just been out looking for someone to adopt me." she punctuates her sentence with a sigh.

"And, as fearless leader of the Pound Puppies," Cooler says in a heroic voice, while striking an equally heroic pose. "It is my sworn duty to help this pup find a hap-hap-happy home!"

Brighteyes giggles. "Oh, Cooler, you're such a kook."

Cooler then picks her up and carries her. "And so, the brave kook spirits the fair damsel dog in distress back to the puppy pound, where her wish may come true, because today, people from all over are coming to adopt Pound Puppies!"

Cooler and Brighteyes pop out of a fire hydrant in front of the pound; once they reach the front gate, they're greeted by Howler and Chatty Cat, one of the Pound Purries. Chatty is a furry brown cat wearing a dark blue tee shirt covered in yellow circles, squares and triangles, matching shorts, a pink ribbon in her hair and a pink bracelet around her left wrist. "Brighteyes! It's so good to see you've made it back safely," she says. "And you're just in time for the big day."

"What day is that?"

"It's Arbor day, no, it's Labor day, no, it's Groundhog day, no, it's-awoo-oo-oo, it's Adoption day." Howler howls.

A banner reading, "ADOPTION DAY" pops up above the front gate. All the various dogs and cats in the pound excitedly bark and meow, "This is it, Adoption day!" "Yeah!" "All right!" "I can't wait!"

Inside Nose Marie's house, Brighteyes is very excited. "Ooh, Adoption day, this could be my big chance! Nose Marie," she turns to the bloodhound, who's grooming in front of a large vanity mirror. "Do you think it's likely that anyone will want me as their pet?"

"Purty well likely, Sugar Pie. That's why on Adoption day it's im-portant fer all a' us dogs n' cats t'look our li'l ol' best; a'course in _mah _case, that comes natu'rly." she punctuates her sentence with a chuckle.

"You know, Brighteyes," comes a voice from a bathtub overflowing with bubbles in a corner of the room. "I've been adopted _lotsa_ times." The owner of the voice, Whopper, sticks his head out of the tub.

"Really?"

"Yeah, once I was adopted by a man, he was a space man, yeah, he was the man in the moon. He had a big house, it was a mansion, no, make that a yacht. We sailed to Milwaukee, no, Miami, no, to the _moon! _Yeah."

"Whopper," Nose Marie says indignantly. "Ain't we all told'ya a million li'l ol' times never t'exaggerate?"


	2. High Electric Bill

Holly Trueblood, manager of the pound and owner of the Pound Puppies and Pound Purries, sits on the front step of the pound rubbing Cooler's belly with her left hand and scratching Chatty's ears with her right hand (Holly's quite good at multitasking). "You know, Holly," Cooler says. "Not only are you the only human who can talk to dogs and cats, but you give the _greatest_ belly rubs on Earth! Oooh _yeah_!" He ends his sentence with a contented chuckle.

"You also give the greatest ear scratches on earth!" Chatty ends her sentence with a long, contented purr.

At that very moment, Howler runs up to them, howling worriedly. "What's the matter, Howler?" Holly inquires.

"Run for your lives! It's coming this way!"

"What's coming?" Chatty inquires.

"It's terrible! It's horrible! It's the worst thing in the world! It's-awoo-oo-oo-_Katrina Stoneheart!_"

"My loving guardian." Holly says ironically, as she observes her wicked aunt standing by the fence.

"Not to mention her spoiled-rotten daughter Brattina and her pet, Catgut." says Cooler. The former holds the latter in her arms, stroking him; he meows and hisses nastily.

"As well as her two associates Flack and Tubbs." adds Chatty. The two dognappers sneer at Holly and the group.

"Aunty Katrina, what an-an unexpected surprise."

"And we have an unexpected surprise for _you_, Holly dear: your pound's electric bill!" Katrina hands the bill to Holly.

"Read it and weep, ha." Brattina scoffs.

Holly looks the bill over. "I owe two hundred dollars for electricity? How can this be?"

"Awoo-oo-oo, I must have left the lights on in the tunnel again." Howler says. Cooler and Chatty both give him an annoyed glare.

"You _do_ have the money for this, don't you, Holly?" Katrina inquires.

"Well…not at the moment…"

"Nyah, nyah, Holly's broke, nyah, nyah, she's a joke." Brattina jeers, as she and Catgut prance in place.

"You'll see, Brattina," Holly angrily says in defense. "Tomorrow's Adoption day, and when people adopt dogs and cats, they usually make donations."

"Well, you'd better hope they make a lot of them, dear, because if you don't come up with that money, _your pound will be shut down_!" Katrina says.

"Nyah, nyah, shut it down, bye-bye, puppy pound." Brattina jeers, as she and Catgut once again prance in place.

"That is _so_ annoying!" Chatty exclaims angrily.

"And the property will be turned over to _me_." Katrina adds.

"We'll have the money by tonight, Aunty Katrina, you'll see." Holly then leaves.

"Don't bet on it, Holly," Katrina says after Holly has left. "Once my little plan is put into action, you can kiss your sweet puppy pound _goodbye_." She and her crew share a nasty laugh, then abruptly cut themselves off when they notice Tubbs isn't joining in. Katrina abruptly cuffs him on the back of the head. "_LAUGH WITH US, YOU BIG OAF!_"

"Duh, oh yeah, heh, heh, heh, heh." Tubbs chortles as the others glare disdainfully at him.


	3. The Great Hollywood Director

A large crowd of people gather within the pound's balloon adorned gates. Holly, garbed in a ringmaster's outfit, stands on the front step as Howler stands nearby playing a ukulele. Also with them is Catfish, another Pound Purry. He's a large, rather round, shaggy orange cat with a grey snout and grey hair on top of his head. He wears a dark brown vest and has a sprig of alfalfa between his teeth. "That's right folks," Holly announces. "Gather 'round, one and all for the great Pound Puppy and Pound Purry Adoption day extravaganza!" She turns to Catfish. "Maestro, may we have a drum roll, please?" Catfish pulls a small drum from behind his back and taps out a beat.

Nose Marie directs the crowd's attention to a stage with a curtain drawn. "Ladies and gentlemen," Holly announces. "Feast your eyes on what's behind the curtain!" Upon these words, the curtain pulls back to reveal several small dogs (one of which being Brighteyes) and cats happily yipping and mewing.

"Awwwww." the crowd coos.

"Yesiree, these Pound Puppies and Purries are ready to be adopted, so, step right up and make a little dog or cat's dream come true."

Several people then hurry over and each scoop up a cat or dog-except for Brighteyes. The yellow lab looks on sadly as the people all traipse through the gates with their new pets in tow. "Oh well." She sadly sits on the edge of the stage with her chin in her paws. "Who wants to get adopted anyway?"

Holly and Violet stand by a table, on which is a large coffee can overflowing with money. "This is wonderful," says Holly. "These donations should be more than enough to cover the costs."

"Yes," says Violet in a concerned voice. "But what about poor li'l ol' Brighteyes?"

"It's…just…_hopeless_." the yellow lab sadly strolls over to a stool in front of her house and begins weeping.

"No, it's not, Babycakes," says Cooler, who's standing nearby. "Dry those baby blues. You'll see, one day someone will give you a nice, new home, and when they do, this is what we all will say." He and the other Puppies and Purries, dressed in barbershop quartet outfits, gather around and sing (to the tune of "Good Night Ladies"),

"Goood-bye, Brighteyes,

Faare-well, Brighteyes,

Goood-bye from all us guys,

We're sor-ry to seeee yoou go.

Ohhhh Yeeeeeeah!"

Their words, regrettably, are no consolation to the doleful Brighteyes.

Just then, the dogs and cats hear the sound of a car pulling up to the pound's entrance. They rush to the front gates and observe a classic car with fins that would have made Jaws jealous just outside. The driver disembarks; he wears, appropriately enough, a white suit that would have put Elvis to shame, a red shirt with a high collar, shiny black boots and a pair of shades; his black hair is slicked down with more oil than the local gas station. He walks up to Holly, who's counting the day's earnings. "Good day, friends, allow me to introduce myself. Samuel Quentin, famous Hollywood director. Here's my card." He hands the aforementioned to Holly, then browses the area. "I'm looking for a dog, a very special dog, one to star in my next major motion picture." Quentin's gaze eventually stops on Brighteyes, who's still weeping. "A dog like _that_ one! She's _perfect_! What grace, what emotion, she's such a talented actress!"

"Huh?" says Holly. "But…Brighteyes isn't acting, she truly is upset."

"Well, whatever the case may be, I'm going to make her….a _star_!" (Holly had, unfortunately, failed at the time to notice Quentin greedily eyeing the earnings.)

Upon hearing this, Catfish walks up to Brighteyes. "Wow, did yawl hear that? That-thar feller's a-lookin' t'give yawl a home!"

Brighteyes is very taken aback. "Really? Oh, this is the happiest day of my life!" She then weeps even harder; Catfish looks on confusedly and Cooler gives a shrug.


	4. A Tearful Farewell

Holly and the Pound Puppies and Purries gather in the yard to bid Brighteyes goodbye. "Well gang, I guess this is it," says Brighteyes, who's carrying a suitcase. She walks up to Howler and gives him a hug. "Goodbye, Howler, I'm going to miss you."

"Oh, I hate goodbyes." Howler says weepingly. "They make me very emotional, and when I get emotional I can't-I can't-I can't-I can't-awoo-oo-oo-control my howling."

"Farewell, Honey Lamb." Nose Marie walks up to Brighteyes and puts a flower resembling the one in her hair, only yellow, in Brighteyes' hair. "Please send me all th' latest gossip from Hollywood."

"I'll be happy to."

"Goodbye, Sweetie." Chatty walks up to Brighteyes and places a bracelet resembling hers, only green, around Brighteyes' wrist. "Please say, 'Hi' to all of the stars for me."

"I'll be glad to, Chatty."

"Particularly King Kong and Godzilla." Whopper hands Brighteyes a gift-wrapped bone. "They're close personal friends of mine, yeah, we go way back."

"Uhm, sure, Whopper…"

"Goodbye, Li'l Flower." Catfish says. "Ah'm gonna miss yawl powerf'lly."

"I'm going to miss you too, Catfish." Brighteyes gives the big orange cat a hug.

"Farewell, Dear," Violet gives Brighteyes a hug. "We'll come visit you, and we'll buy tickets to all your movies."

"Thanks, Violet, you're sweet."

"And Brighteyes," says Cooler. "If those alley cats ever give you anymore trouble, you know where to find me."

"Thank you so much, Cooler." Brighteyes turns to all of her friends. "You know, it's a funny thing. I had figured on this being the happiest day of my life, but because I'm leaving all my friends, it's actually the _saddest_!" The yellow lab weeps as she hurries into Quentin's car.

Holly and the dogs and cats look on sadly as the car speeds away; Howler gives a long, sad howl. "Ah shore do hope that things go well fer li'l ol' Brighteyes." says Nose Marie, as tears well up in her eyes.

"So do I, Nose Marie," Cooler replies. "But I have a funny feeling that something isn't right." At that very moment, Katrina and her crew stroll into the pound. "Can I call 'em or what?"

_Golly_, Catfish thinks. _Them folks shore do rub me th' wrong way-literally an' figuratively!_

Katrina walks up to her niece."Good Evening, Holly dear. And how did Adoption day go?"

"Very well, Aunty Katrina."

"Heh, don't suppose youse folks managed to make enuff dough ta cover da bill, di'ja?" inquires Flack.

"As a matter of fact, we did," Holly picks up the coffee can. "Here, I'll show y-the money, it's gone!" The dogs and cats gasp in horror.

"Oh, that's too, too bad, Holly," Katrina says cloyingly. "Now, whatever are you going to do?"

"I-I-don't know…" says a nonplussed Holly as the dogs sniff around for any sign of the missing earnings.

"Well, you'd better think of something soon, dear, because if that bill isn't paid within a week, possession will be turned over-_to me_."


	5. Message to Hollywood

Evening falls; Cooler sadly sits on the front step of his house with his chin in his paws. Nose Marie rushes up to him and swoops him up. "Oh Cooler Honey, whatever shall we do? If we don't come up with that money in a li'l ol' week, they's all gonna shut down th' pound an' all a' us'ns are a-gonna be _homeless_!"

"But…Nose Marie, we already are homeless-that's why we live at the pound."

"Oh yeah," the bloodhound replies. "Well…never mind." She promptly drops him on the ground.

"Say, don't worry about a thing, you guys," Whopper pipes up. "'Cause I know someone who can help."

"Oh, really? Who's that?" a skeptical Cooler inquires.

"He's the President, no, the king, no, no, the _Emperor_ of Mars. Yeah, yeah, he's really, really rich. In fact, he's the richest Martian on the planet. He's also my very best friend; one time he gave me a hundred, no, a thousand, no, a million, no, a _kerbillion_ dollars, and I became the richest dog in the whole universe, but I very unwisely squandered my fortune on dog biscuits."

"I, eh, hate to burst your bubble, Whopper, but I think you're yanking our tails again."

"But, honestly, I _do_ know someone who can help, Cooler; that Hollywood director guy that adopted Brighteyes."

"Whopper, you're a _genius_!" Cooler scoops Whopper up.

"Wow...I've been called a lot of things, but 'genius' is a new one."

"That director must be absolutely _loaded_, and Brighteyes is going to be his next big star. _She_ can give us the money!" Cooler promptly turns to Howler. "And that's where you come in."

"Who, uh, me? Wh-why, uh, when, uh, how, uh, awoo-oo-oo, and sometimes where?"

"We need you to help us send a long distance 'howl-o-gram!'"

The dogs and cats gather on the pound's roof. "To Samuel Quentin, famous movie director," Cooler dictates to Howler. Howler then translates this message into dog-speak by means of a series of loud howls.

"Hollywood, California," Howler howls some more.

"Dear Brighteyes, how are things in Hollywood? Have you made any money yet? If so, could you please send some our way, 'cause if we don't pony up, they're gonna shut down the pound! Please send us cash as soon as possible. Your old pal, Cooler."

Howler howls more; the message reaches a Beagle down the street, who then relays the message to a Fox Terrier wandering through the middle of town, who relays it to a Border Collie on a farm in Kentucky, who relays it to a Yorkshire Terrier in an apartment in Illinois, who relays it to a St. Bernard sleeping in front of a fireplace at a ski lodge in Colorado; once he hears the message, he runs (or rather, _ambles_) outside and relays the message to a bushy brown dog wearing sunglasses and a Hawaiian shirt lying by a swimming pool in Hollywood, California. "Samuel Quentin?" he says. He then sends a response.

Back at the pound, Cooler and the others hear the reply. "Say, that only took about five minutes. Not bad." says Cooler.

"Yeah," Howler wheezes. "A bit rough on the ol' throat though. Maybe we could invest in an internet service; it might make things a lot easier."

"Well, I have considered that," replies Cooler. "The only thing is, I don't know how we'd necessarily convince people to buy their dogs computers."

"What do they say, Howler?" Chatty inquires.

"Well, as it turns out, there's no Samuel Quentin listed in any Hollywood directory. In fact, no one there has even heard of him."

"But, if he didn't go back to Hollywood, then where did he take Brighteyes?" muses a perplexed Violet.

"Well, maybe he's shooting his next movie in some exotic location," muses Whopper. "Like London, Paris, Monte Carlo, or maybe even…_Milwaukee_!" The little puppy then breaks into song (and dance), complete with a hat and cane (which he apparently just happened to be carrying on him):

"Mil-wau-kee, Mil-wau-kee,

Everybody talk-ees 'bout Milwaukee,

Mil-wau-kee, yeah!"

_Say, that was pretty good! _he thinks_. I should go on Broadway! _

His reverie is quickly broken by Nose Marie. "Whopper Honey, please try t'stay with us, we gots ta find Brighteyes, an' _fast_!"


	6. He's Nothing But a Crook!

Quentin and Brighteyes stand by the rear entrance of a jewelry store in the middle of town; the former is attempting to pry the handle off the door with a crowbar. "Okay Brighteyes," he whispers. "Now, here is where we'll be shooting our first scene."

"Right."

Quentin finally manages to pry the handle off, and pushes the door open. "Just take a look at that gorgeous set," he whispers, motioning toward the store's interior; he then motions toward the security cameras. "Now, remember where the cameras are, they'll be following your every move, you little actress, you." He punctuates his sentence with a chuckle. Quentin then pulls a piece of paper from his pocket and looks it over. "Now, in this first scene, you'll be playing Cleopatra, so you'll need to go in and cover yourself with as many jewels as you can."

"Right-ee-o."

"Ready? All right, role camera, and…_action_!"

Brighteyes scurries into the store, prances gracefully over to a display case and bedecks herself with a bunch of jewels. "Yes, yes!" Quentin whispers. "Now make your grand exit."

The yellow lab prances toward the door humming, "Here she comes, here she comes, she's the Que-en of the Nile" as she goes. She really should have looked where she was going, because she ended up stepping on a security laser beam just before the door, thus setting off the alarms. Startled, Brighteyes hurries into Quentin's car.

"Cut, print, perfect!" Quentin hurries into the car as well, and drives off. "We've hit the big time, Brighteyes."

"A star is born." the yellow lab says blissfully.

Back at the pound, in the Pound Puppies' underground surveillance area, Holly sits in front of a monitor browsing the front page of the newspaper. "'Dog steals fortune in gems'" she reads.

Catfish peeks over at the page. "Hm, if'n ah di'nt know better, ah'd say that wuz Brighteyes!"

A monitor flips on, showing Katrina, carrying several shopping bags, walking through the front door of her house. She enters her living room, where Brattina and Catgut are sitting at a large table, bashing up a small porcelain dog. (Nice, huh?) Flack and Tubbs sit nearby, each reading a section of the newspaper. "I'm home, everyone." Katrina greets them, as she sets the shopping bags down on the couch.

"Hi, Mommie Dearest." Brattina says.

"Oh, hey dere, boss." says Flack.

"Duh, hi, boss." says Tubbs.

At that very moment, the phone rings. The two dognappers quickly drop their newspapers and rush off. "I'll get it!" yells Flack.

"I'll get it!" yells Tubbs.

Flack gets to the phone first and picks up the receiver. "Aw, gee whiz," Tubbs pouts. "I never gets ta get it."

"Ah, fine then, if ya's gunna be a big baby about it, _here_." Flack hands Tubbs the receiver.

"Duh, hello? No, dis ain't Katrina Stoneheart. Buh-bye." Tubbs hangs up. "Boy, an' folks say _I'm_ dumb. That fella thought I wuz Katrina Stoneheart."

"WHAT?" Katrina rushes up to Tubbs and grabs him by his scarf. "And you just _hung up on him?_" She picks up the receiver.

"Golly." Tubbs wheezes, loosening his scarf.

"Hello? Oh, hi, Sammy Quentin. Ah, everything went according to plan? Oh, wonderful, wonderful! Goodbye."

"Sammy Quentin?" Holly echoes suspiciously.

"Ain't he da guy you hired ta pay a visit to da pound?" Flack inquires of Katrina.

"Yes, yes, and thanks to good old Sammy Quentin, Holly will never be able to pay her electric bill, and the pound will be mine, _all mine_!"

"So, that's where the donations went. Aunty Katrina sent Sammy Quentin here to pilfer them; he's not a director at all, he's nothing but a crook."

"And he's leading Brighteyes into a life of crime," says Cooler. "We'd better go tell the others." Cooler and Holly then traipse off.

"Hm," muses Catfish. "Good thing ah di'nt know better, wuzzn't it?"


	7. At the Bark 'n Growl Cafe

Holly, Cooler, and the rest of the Puppies and Purries gather around a table in the main room. Cooler explains the situation to the crew while showing them the picture of Brighteyes in the paper. "Hm," says Nose Marie, "Y'know, all things considered, that's a mighty good picture a'her."

"Yeah," Chatty replies. "They really got her good side."

"Well, we'd better do something about this, and fast." Howler says. "Something daring, something courageous, something-awoo-oo-oo-_wacko_."

"By golly," Catfish says "That-thar's muh fav'rit kinda plan."

"Pound Puppies and Pound Purries, let's start pounding!" Cooler exclaims as they dash off.

The Puppies and Purries hurry through the surveillance room, past Holly, who's printing out newspapers, into a room marked, "COSTUME SHOP." (They just happened to have a costume shop there.) Shortly thereafter, they hurry out of the shop's exit wearing trench coats-except for Whopper, who was wearing a not-quite-as-inconspicuous superhero outfit. "No, Whopper Darlin'," says Nose Marie. "We's-all s'posed t'be wearin' trench coats."

"But, this outfit matches my mittens." Whopper lifts his paws, clad in a pair of red and blue mittens with smiley faces on them, into the air and waves them back and forth. Nose Marie simply looks at him oddly.

"Honestly, I got a really good deal on this outfit, too," adds Whopper. "They gave it to me for fifty percent off, and it's not even after Halloween!"

"Oh, really?" says Cooler. "Was it an 'are there any more like you at home' discount?"

Holly hands each of them a newspaper as they exit the pound. "Good luck, guys."

The dogs and cats travel to a seamy part of town. They walk through the streets holding the newspapers (with strategically-cut eyeholes) in front of their faces. Eventually, they stop in front of a restaurant. "There it is crew," says Cooler. "The 'Bark and Growl Café.' Okay, let's move out."

"But, what're we's-all goin' in thar fer?" inquires an apprehensive Catfish.

"Because," Cooler replies. "This is where all the tough dogs in town hang out."

"Well, in mah very huble o-pinion," Catfish shudders. "That's a powerf'ly good reason _not_ ter go in thar." (As one might imagine, being around so many rugged dogs would make a cat rather apprehensive.)

"Don't be afraid, Catfish," Violet says encouragingly. "We've got your back, no matter what."

"We sure do," says Cooler. "Don't worry, we're just going to ask them if they have any info about Quentin."

The group enters the café, and are greeted by several large, rugged-looking dogs. "Hey, you wacky mutts, heh heh, what's shakin'?" Cooler says uneasily, as the rest of the crew (particularly the cats) are shuddering behind him.

"I'd have to say my _knees_." shudders Howler.

A large, muscular brown dog wearing a battered red hat, a yellow dress shirt with the sleeves ripped off, and a red necktie, and a yellow lady dog of the Afghan hound persuasion, who's wearing a blue dress, a pink pearl necklace, and two pink bracelets on her left wrist, walk up to the group and snarl at them. "HIDE US!" the cats exclaim, dashing behind the dogs.

Whopper hops out in front of the crew. "Have no fear, Mitten Man is here!" He sticks his mitten-clad paws in the air and wave them back and forth again. "Yes, _yes_, fear Mitten man's powers!"

The two tough dogs stare at him quizzically, then advance on him snarling, with teeth bared. "Ack! How did Mitten Man's powers _fail_?" the little puppy exclaims, as he dashes behind Cooler.

"Gee, I wonder." Cooler mumbles.

"Cooler Hon', if'n ah might ask ya'll very calmly…_WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO_?" says Nose Marie.

Thinking quickly, as the fierce dogs advance on them, Cooler whips off his trench coat, revealing his regular clothes underneath, and rushes over to a jukebox in the corner of the café and punches it on to a disco song. "We're going to _BOOGIE_!" he exclaims. He promptly dashes over to Violet (also now wearing her regular clothes), who joins him in a disco dance as the song plays:

_That's the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it,_

_Uh huh, uh huh,_

_That's the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it,_

_Uh huh, uh huh,_

"Say," says the large brown dog. "I thought disco was dead."

"Well, if not," the lady dog replies. "They're certainly murdering it."

Cooler and Violet dance across the floor, up a wall, across the ceiling and back down another wall. "Eat your heart out, Fred Astaire." Cooler says with a chuckle.

The large brown dog and the lady dog look at each other. "S'pose we oughta join 'em?" he inquires.

"And why not?" she replies, as they both begin dancing to the music, as does, eventually, every other dog in the cafe.

_That's the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it,_

_Uh huh, uh huh,_

_That's the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it,_

_Uh huh, uh huh,_

"He-ey, you folks are all right," says the big brown dog, brightening. "Oh, by the way, my name's Rudy."

"My name's Lola, Hon'," says the lady dog. "An' I'd like ta know what a nice crew like you is doin' in a crummy joint like this."

"Well," Cooler replies. "We were wondering if any of you might have information on a shady character named Sammy Quentin."

"Quickfingers Quentin?" Rudy replies. "Oh yeah, we're _all_ too familiar with that guy."

"He offered each and every one of us roles in his so-called 'movies'; little did we know was actually tricking us into thievery." says Lola.

"Huh boy, would we all like ta give him what he's got comin' to him." Rudy growls.

"Our sentiments exact-a-mundo," replies Cooler. "Do any of you folks know where to find him?"

"Well, certainly." says Lola.

"We'll be more than happy t'take ya to his hideout." says Rudy.


	8. To Trick the Trickster

Rudy and Lola lead the group to a run-down building in the middle of town; they all gather behind a dumpster. "Dere it is, Quentin's hideout," Rudy sniffs the air. "I'd know his rotten scent anywhere."

Violet takes a folded-up newspaper out of her pocket, tiptoes quietly over to the hideout's front step, deposits the newspaper there and then tiptoes back to the group's hiding place. In about a literal minute, Quentin steps out to investigate. "Here comes our big fish," says Cooler. "He's taking the bait." Quentin then disappears back inside.

Inside the hideout, Quentin sits at a coffee table reading the paper while Brighteyes, dressed in a green two-piece swimsuit with a floral pattern and a pair of green-rimmed sunglasses, lies on a futon by the window reading a magazine entitled "DOGUE." She gives a bored sigh. At that moment, Cooler and Chatty pop up by the window. "Psst, hey Brighteyes, how about an autograph?" Cooler whispers jokingly.

"Cooler! Chatty!" the yellow lab exclaims elatedly, removing her sunglasses as she looks up at them.

"Ssh," hushes Chatty, her gaze moving towards Quentin. "We don't want to disturb the great Hollywood director."

"So, tell us Babycakes," says Cooler. "How goes stardom?"

"Ohh," Brighteyes sighs. "It's so boring. All I ever do is sit around all day until my next scene is shot."

"Well," Chatty says, as she hands Brighteyes a newspaper. "You might want to take a look at this."

Brighteyes studies the headline. "'Dog steals fortune in gems.'" She hesitates for about a second. "Boy, what a clueless dog! She must have the sense of a cabbage. Honestly, if you looked in her ear, I bet you'd see one of those 'This space for rent' signs, or even, like, if you x-rayed her head, you'd see that it was full of rocks, or, uhm...that's me, isn't it?"

Whopper, who had apparently overheard the commotion, suddenly pops up next to Cooler and Chatty. "Actually, it's not what it looks like, Brighteyes. See, there's this princess from a faraway land, who's your exact double, and she came over here because…" Whopper hesitates as he notices Cooler and Chatty looking at him oddly. "Not helping, right?"

"One word, two letters, the first one is 'n.'" Chatty replies.

"Huh," the little puppy muses, as he traipses off. "One word, two letters, the first one is 'n'…This is a tough one!"

"So you see, Brighteyes," Cooler says. "Quentin is actually a crook."

"And he's been tricking you into stealing." Chatty adds.

"Oh no, I'm a criminal! What will we do?"

"Don't worry, Babycakes," Cooler responds. "We've been working on a plan. It's like this…" He whispers the plan into Brighteyes' ear. (Well, as far as anyone could see, anyway-her hair always covers her ears.)

"Ooh, that's a _good_ one!" the yellow lab exclaims with a giggle.

As Quentin browses the paper, his gaze stops on an article on the front page. "What's this? 'Katrina Stoneheart buys world's largest ruby?'" A grin spreads across his face. "Well, well! I had just heard the flapping of wings, and wagered that a pigeon must have landed, and I was right, it's Katrina Stoneheart, my _favorite_ pigeon." He turns to Brighteyes. "Oh Brighteyes, I've found your next role. In fact, we'll start filming _tonight_."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world." the yellow lab replies with a nonchalant grin.


	9. A Couple of Night Owls

The Puppies and Purries make their way toward Katrina's house; as they're walking by, a rolled-up newspaper, which Catfish had been carrying in the pocket of his vest, falls out of his pocket and onto the front walk. At that very moment, Flack and Tubbs walk out the front door, and stop short in front of the paper. "Eh? What's dis?" says Flack, as he picks up the paper. He proceeds then to browse the front page. "Tubbs, take a gander at dis!"

The fat dognapper takes the paper and looks it over. "'Space Alien with Telekinetic Powers to wed Two-Headed Elvis Clone, also with Telekinetic Powers.' Haw haw, their kids're gonna be _funny lookin'_!"

"Tubbs, can I borrow dat paper fer a second?"

Tubbs hands Flack the paper; Flack promptly whacks him on the head with it. "Read da _headline_, you goober!"

"'Katrina Stoneheart buys world's largest ruby.'" Tubbs reads.

"Exactly! Man, ain't dat jus' like da boss? Always poor-mouthin' when all dis time, she's been holdin' out on us. Well, we's jus' gonna have ta take matters into our own hands!"

The two dognappers traipse over to the shed, upon which, Flack notices a ladder lying on the ground nearby. "Ah, perfect." He carries the ladder over and props it against the side of the house, just beneath the window. "Now, here's what ya's gotta do, Tubbs. Climb up dere, open da window, then go in an' nab da ruby before anyone spots ya."

"Sure thing, Flack."

Tubbs begins climbing up the ladder. Shortly thereafter, Howler sticks his head out of a lower window. "Hmm," he muses. "I shouldn't do it…but I _will_!" And with that, a mechanical hand holding a saw pops out of his hat and begins sawing the ladder's bottom rungs.

Tubbs continues climbing the ladder, oblivious to the fact that Howler's gradually sawing more and more of it away. _Golly_, he thinks. _Da boss' house is a lot taller than I remembered it!_ When Tubbs eventually reaches the top of the ladder, he's only two feet off the ground. "Duh, hey Flack, da ladder shrunk."

"Dat's 'cause ya's got more blubber than Moby Dick. Com' on, let's see if we can find somethin' else ta help us get up dere."

The two dognappers return to the shed. Flack browses the shed for any useful items. "Hmm," he muses. "Tubbs, do youse see anything what might be useful?"

"Well, hows'about dat?" Tubbs motions toward a bag of mulch in the corner.

"Now, how's a bag a' mulch supposed ta help?" Flack snaps angrily. "Why don'cha use dat big, lumpy head a' yers fer somethin' other that a hat rack?"

"How d'ya like dat," Tubbs disdainfully pouts to himself. "First he asks me fer help, then he ain't not even grateful when I _do_ help him. Well, it just so happens dat mulch has a lotta uses, an' I'm sure if I think long enuff, I'll be able to figger some out!"

Flack suddenly spots a rope hanging on the wall. "Aha, dis'll be perfect. Now we's jus' gotta find a hook." He scouts the room until his gaze falls on a crowbar sitting on a folding table. "A'right, dis'll do."

"But Flack, shouldn't it oughta be bent?"

"Ah, don't worry, I gots da solution."

"Really? What's dat?"

Flack promptly wallops Tubbs on the head with the crowbar, causing it to bend in half. "Wow," says a disoriented Tubbs. "You's da smartest five guys I ever seen!"

Tubbs walks to the side of the house and tosses the rope with the crowbar tied to it up to the balcony. Unfortunately, rather than the edge of the balcony he manages to hook a plant in a large concrete pot. Tubbs yanks the rope repeatedly, dragging the plant closer to the edge with each yank. He finally yanks the rope extra hard, which brings the plant crashing down on his head, leaving him sitting sprawled on the ground, surrounded by the shattered pieces of the pot, with the plant on top of his head, resembling wild green hair. "Wild thing…" he mumbles dazedly, before collapsing to the ground.


	10. It Ain't Worth It

"Com'on, Tubbs," Flack says, as Tubbs dazedly climbs to his feet. "We gots ta find somethin' else. Hmm, dere's another crowbar in da back a' da van. Maybe we could use dat ta pry da door open."

"Aw gee, walk all da way back to da van?"

"Youse gotta better idea?"

"Well, we could always use dat trampoline ta jus' bounce over da wall ta get to da van…"

"What? What trampoline?"

"Duh, da one in da backyard."

"Well, why didn't'cha tell me sooner? Dis'll work perfectly! We'll jus' use it ta _bounce_ into da house!"

"Duh, but Flack, what about da van?"

"Well, da thing about da van is…" Flack begins; he hesitates for all of a second, then promptly whacks Tubbs on the side of the head.

Tubbs carries the trampoline over and sets it up under the window. Flack notices that there's a rock underneath one of the legs of the trampoline._ Hm, gotta get these even, else we'll end up bouncin' into da neighbors' yard or somethin'. _he thinks, as he bends over to adjust the legs.

Tubbs, apparently not noticing Flack there, steps right onto his back as he climbs onto the trampoline. "Oohh, watch where ya's goin', you hippopotamus," The skinny dognapper groans, clutching his back. "You're turnin' my spine into a curlicue!"

Tubbs hops up and down on the trampoline, getting higher and higher with each bounce. With his final bounce, however, he doesn't come back down. "Huh, the idiot achieved orbit." Flack muses, while looking up.

Tubbs is caught by the seat of his pants on a rain gutter. "Uhh, Flack…little help here?"

At that very moment, Cooler, carrying a bowling ball in his paws, pokes his head out of the nearby window. "Uh-" Tubbs begins. Cooler then hands the bowling ball to him. "-Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Tubbs finishes, as he plummets down; his pants left behind on the rain gutter.

"Steee-rike!" Cooler draws an "X" on the side of the house with a red marker.

Tubbs lands on the trampoline, bouncing high into the air and landing on Flack's head. "Duh, Flack? Hey, Flack, where are you?" he says, looking around.

"I've had nightmares about stuff like dis happening." Flack says in a muffled voice.

Tubbs climbs to his feet (much to Flack's delight), and looks down at his festive-looking underwear. "Duh, hey, I lost my pants." Just then, Tubbs' pants come floating down. "Oh, dere dey are!"

The pants end up falling over Flack's head. "Aw, Flack, you're wearin' those da wrong way! Yeesh, an' dey call _me_ da dumb one!" Annoyed, Flack takes the pants off his head and sticks them over Tubbs' head. "Actually dis is kinda cozy," Tubbs says. "Embarrassing, but cozy."

(Unbeknownst to them, while all this was going on, Chatty had been looking from a nearby window with a portable movie camera. "Oh, this is going straight on Youtube." she says with a chuckle.)

The dognappers return to the shed yet again. "Huh," Flack muses, as he traipses inside. "Dere's gotta be somethin' else we can use…" Just then, a shovel that had been leaning against the wall falls over and beans him on the head. "Dat's it! It's brilliant!"

"Wow," says an astounded Tubbs. "Gettin' hit on da head jus' gives _me_ a headache!"

"Don'cha see, Tubbs? We has been goin' about dis da wrong way! Rather than goin' up, we oughta be tunnelin' _under_ ta get in!"

The two dognappers both take shovels and walk over to the house. "Now," Flack muses. "Where to start diggin'?"

"Well, hows'about da front walk?" Tubbs suggests.

"Ah, dat's a great idea, Tubbs, except _WE CAN'T DIG THROUGH CEMENT, YOU NITWIT_!"

"No need ta get huffy." Tubbs says under his breath.

Flack leads Tubbs over to a spot by the side of the house. "We'll dig _here_." he says abrasively. The two dognappers begin digging. After they've been digging for a few minutes, Tubbs hits something solid with his shovel. _CLANG_.

"Duh, hey Flack, I think I hit sumthin'"

"Really? Dat's great, ya musta' found treasure or somethin'!"

Shortly thereafter, the dognappers feel the ground rumbling. "Duh, is treasure supposed ta rumble like dat?" Tubbs inquires. Flack doesn't get a chance to reply, however, before a huge geyser of water jettisons them both into the night sky.

Flack and Tubbs land in the neighbor's yard. "Oof! Well, at least we's safe now." says Tubbs.

"Not quite." Flack says urgently, looking over his shoulder. Unfortunately for them, the neighbors had a pair of vicious Rottweilers who were now running straight for them. "Run Tubbs, run!" he exclaims, as the two of them make a mad dash toward the neighbor's fence, with the Rottweilers in hot pursuit. "Back, you mutts, _back_!"

The two dognappers finally manage to make it over the fence and escape the dogs. They lean against the fence, panting and out of breath, then slowly slump down to the ground. "Pfew." Flack slowly climbs to his feet. "Good thing we escaped, huh."

Tubbs stands up slowly, then looks over his shoulder and observes that the back of his pants has been ripped out.

"Ooh," says Flack. "Apparently we didn't escape _completely_."

"No, _no!_ Not _twice_ in _da same episode_!" Tubbs exclaims exasperatedly.

_Yeesh, he's like a magnet for dis. _Flack thinks_._ "Ya know…" he says, turning to Tubbs. "Dis jus' ain't worth it. Da boss can keep that lousy ruby, let's jus' get outta here. Do youse remember where ya's parked da car, Tubbs?"

"Duh, yeah, I parked it next to a fire hydrant so's I'd remember."

As if on cue, a tow truck goes by towing the dognappers' van away. "You're an idiot." Flack snarls.

The dognappers rush off after the tow truck. "STOP! STOP! COME BACK WITH OUR VAN!"


	11. Collaring the Crook

Quentin pulls up outside Katrina's house just in time to see the dognappers chasing after the tow truck. "Huh. Serves them right. That's what you get for breaking the law. Now to get that ruby." He and Brighteyes then walk up to the front door. "All right, Brighteyes, in this scene, your loving owner has been locked out of the house, so you have to sneak in through the kitty door and open the window to let him in."

"Got it!"

"Good!" Quentin picks up a handheld movie camera. "Now, roll camera and…_action_!"

Brighteyes hops into the kitty door, and wanders into the darkened living room. Quentin climbs into the window. "And…_cut_! That was perfect!" The lights suddenly turn on, and Quentin finds himself surrounded by a huge entourage of angry, snarling dogs. "Hey! What's going on here?" he exclaims.

"Allow me to explain," says Holly, who's standing by a couch, holding a megaphone in one hand and a piece of paper (evidently a movie script) in the other, with the Puppies and Purries standing by her feet. "In this scene, Sammy 'Quickfingers' Quentin tries to steal a ruby. The problem is, there is no ruby in the first place, it was all a hoax."

"What?"

"A hoax, in fact, set up by some of your old friends. All the dogs you've led astray, all the dogs you've tricked into doing your dirty work, and now they all want payback. Roll cameras and…_action_!" Holly flicks the lights off as the fierce dogs advance on Quentin, growling and snarling, then pounce on him and attack him.

In her bedroom upstairs, Katrina, with Catgut dozing next to her, is sound asleep. Suddenly, the din downstairs wakes them both up with a start. "Mommie Dearest, something's going on downstairs," says Brattina, who's standing on the stairway in her pajamas. "Do something, Mommie Dearest, _do something_!"

"Oh Brattina, stop whining and call the police." says Katrina, who's standing in the upstairs hallway with Catgut on her shoulder.

"Will do, Mommie Dearest." Brattina races off.

Katrina hurries down the stairs, into the living room, and flicks the light on. She's shocked to see Quentin hanging from the chandelier, his clothes torn and ragged, with several dogs (as well as the Puppies and Purries) biting and clawing at him. "Sammy Quentin, what are you doing here?"

"I wish could tell you, Katrina, but I gotta fly," Quentin swings from the chandelier and out the open window. "Sayonara, Suckers!"

He had, unfortunately, failed to overhear the sirens of several police cars just outside the house; once outside, he's confronted by Chief Williams and several other police officers. "You can't do this to me," Quentin protests. "I'm a famous Hollywood director!"

"Yeah, well," Chief Williams approaches Quentin and slaps a pair of handcuffs on him. "From now on, you'll have to stick to doing prison scripts." The other officers open the trunk of Quentin's car and relieve him of the stolen jewels.

At this very moment, Flack and Tubbs come ambling back, worn and out of breath. "Look," says Tubbs. "It ain't my fault we couldn't catch da tow truck."

"Well, youse made me trip when ya's stepped on my shoelace, then ya's fell on me!"

"Well, you're old enough to tie your own shoelaces, ya shoulda' known better!"

"Well, I just…" Flack hesitates for all of a second, then gives Tubbs a swift punch to his belly.

Upon approaching Katrina's house, the dognappers observe the police cars parked outside the house. "Uh oh!" says a concerned Flack. The dognappers promptly duck into a nearby bush.

"You think dey know we tried ta break in?" Tubbs whispers.

"Nah." Flack motions toward Quentin, who's being led into a police car. "They'll jus' think he did it. Com'on, let's get back ta Katrina's place." They then both hurry from the bush back to the house.

Katrina, Brattina and Catgut stand on the front step. Holly walks up to them. "Mommie Dearest, isn't he the guy you hired to st-" Brattina's sentence is cut off sharply by Katrina quickly clapping her hand over her mouth.

"Yes, well, uhm, uhh, uhm, what Brattina means, Holly dear, is…" Katrina truly is at a loss for words.

"Don't worry, Aunty Katrina," Holly says nonchalantly. "I wouldn't dare tell Chief Williams about your dealings with a _wanted criminal_."

"Ohh, uh, yes, _yes_, thank you very much, Holly."

"And with the reward money we'll be getting for capturing him, we'll finally be able to pay the electric bill. Isn't that wonderful, Aunty Katrina?"

"Lovely. Just lovely." Katrina snarls under her breath.

After Holly and the dogs and cats leave, Flack and Tubbs happen up to Katrina. "Where have you louts been?" she exclaims.

"We, uh, jus' had a little, uh, automotive complication, yeah, dat's it." Flack replies.

"Duh, yeah our car got towed awa-" Tubbs is cut off sharply by Flack elbowing him in the ribs (well, as close to his ribs as he could get, anyway).

"Well, while you were both goofing off somewhere, my house was being burglarized." Katrina motions toward all the various detritus (the broken ladder, the smashed flowerpot et al.) by the side of the house.

"Yeah, dat was when we-" Tubbs is cut off sharply yet again by Flack elbowing him in the ribs.

"Ixnay!" Flack hisses through clenched teeth.

"I want you to clean all this up; I can't have my homeowner's insurance be jeopardized because of this," Katrina promptly throws shovels into the dognappers' hands. "You both can sleep in the shed tonight. See you later." She, Brattina and Catgut then traipse back into the house.

"Da shed? Really?" Tubbs grumbles.

"Youse wanna walk three miles back to our hideout?"

"Uh, no."

"Then start shovelin', you goober!" the two dognappers then walk over to the hole they had dug earlier and start filling it up.


	12. She Was Home All Along

Brighteyes rejoins the Puppies and Purries back at the pound the next day. "I'm awfully sorry I caused so much trouble." she says. "I guess I should know better than to automatically trust everyone."

"Well, all that matters now is that you're safely back here with us." Cooler says.

"And 'til somethin' better comes along, Sugar Dumplin', welcome home." says Nose Marie.

"You know, Nose Marie," says Brighteyes. "That's a very good point. Now that I think about it, a home is really just a place where you're with people who care about you, so this already is my home, so I'm going to stay here for good."

"All right!" the dogs and cats cheer in unison.

"I guess I never realized until now how much you guys really mean to me." she continues. "You're the greatest." The group smiles contentedly.

"Mitten Man thanks you." says Whopper, who's wearing his superhero outfit again. He lifts his mitten-clad paws in the air and waves them back and forth again.

"Yyeess…" Brighteyes says.

"And we're all mighty crazy about you too, Babycakes." says Cooler. The yellow lab smiles contentedly and blushes.

"Well, looks like all's well what ends well." says Catfish.

"And this is sure a mighty good ending." says Brighteyes.

"Couldn't have said it better." says Cooler. He and the other dogs and cats quickly re-don their barbershop quartet outfits and sing once again,

"Staaay here, Brighteyes,

Ouuur dear Brighteyes,

Staay here with all us guys,

It's wonderful to haave yoou home.

Ohhh Yeahhh!"

**The End**


End file.
